How We Learn
Dog owners often stop and chat while their dogs sniff or play with each other. Attend art gallery openings, book readings, lectures, music recitals, or other community events where you can meet people with similar interests. Check with your library or local paper for events near you.
Behave like someone new to the area. Cheer on your team. Going to a bar alone can seem intimidating, but if you support a sports team, find out where other fans go to watch the games.
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You automatically have a shared interest—your team—which makes it natural to start up a conversation. Making eye contact and exchanging small talk with strangers is great practice for making connections—and you never know where it may lead! Invite a neighbor or work colleague out for a drink or to a movie. Lots of other people feel just as uncomfortable about reaching out and making new friends as you do. Be the one to break the ice. Your neighbor or colleague will thank you later. Connect with your alumni association.
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Many colleges have alumni associations that meet regularly. You already have the college experience in common; bringing up old times makes for an easy conversation starter. Some associations also sponsor community service events or workshops where you can meet more people. Track down old friends via social media sites. Carpool to work. Many companies offer carpool programs. Here are some common obstacles—and how you can overcome them. Developing and maintaining friendships takes time and effort, but even with a packed schedule, you can find ways to make the time for friends.
Put it on your calendar. Schedule time for your friends just as you would for errands. Make it automatic with a weekly or monthly standing appointment. Or simply make sure that you never leave a get-together without setting the next date. Mix business and pleasure. Figure out a way to combine your socializing with activities that you have to do anyway. These could include going to the gym, getting a pedicure, or shopping. Errands create an opportunity to spend time together while still being productive.
Group it. Making new friends means putting yourself out there, and that can be scary. But by working with the right therapist, you can explore ways to build trust in existing and future friendships. For more general insecurities or a fear of rejection, it helps to evaluate your attitude. These fears get in the way of making satisfying connections and become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Nobody likes to be rejected, but there are healthy ways to handle it:. Making a new friend is just the beginning of the journey. Friendships take time to form and even more time to deepen, so you need to nurture that new connection. Be the friend that you would like to have. Treat your friend just as you want them to treat you. Be reliable, thoughtful, trustworthy, and willing to share yourself and your time.
Be a good listener. We can't have lunch at the exact same time every day, so we have an hour lunch break where people can go in and have lunch at anytime they like, but it still keeps We have some really cool principles. We have communal tables, so we've got long table so people can sit next to people. You don't have to I did a PR internship years and years ago, and when I did that I remember sitting by myself with my computer and not really having anyone to have lunch with and so I never wanted people to feel lonely like that.
I wanted people to always have others to sit next to, and so that's why we have these long, communal lunch tables and everyone can always come down and have a good chat. Certainly when there's two people or five people, you know everyone's name. At people when you're adding 10 people a week, everyone knows everything about you.
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You're probably a big reason they're so excited to join, but you don't know anything about them. Something we do which I really love is that every time we have new people start they always start on a Tuesday and we have something called a new boarding session and we have a vision session.
Every newbie always attends this and we go through the entire pitch deck, all of our plans, what we're trying to achieve, we're very transparent within the company. I think that's been really helpful in-. We updated it, so now we have lots of nice, pointy graphs in it, but there are still a lot of slides there that are derived from those early days and we run through that as well and really explain the vision and what we've pitched to investors, and I think having that common alignment between what our team's seeing, what investors are seeing, is really helpful but it does mean that I don't get to have a personal relationship in the deep way that I did when we were in the early stages and I really liked that.
I think that we still try to keep as much of that as we possibly can. For example, every day at lunch time, I'll go and sit with new people and get to know them. Every single cohort, every single group of people coming into Canva, we get to meet them in some capacity, but it might not mean I get to sit next to them every single day when we had five people.
Things have certainly changed. Every word that you now utter is something that you need to think about how that's perceived or every day when you walk around and you see someone new, you need to think about whether you have a smile on your face or you don't, which might be completely unrelated to business, but that's how people react. How have you dealt with that personally? I think I naturally am a positive person and I really like my job and I really like getting to achieve cool things with such amazing people, but at the same time, I'm actually, naturally, a really introverted person.
Every single week it's like, "Do I go and be that crazy CEO and we do some mad celebration and make the company feel like family again, or do we go and do something that doesn't feel right to me? I think that even though those decisions along the way have been challenging, it does mean that when I look out at the company, when I see our office, when I see the celebrations that we have as a company, when I see our team lunches, that feels right to me.
You don't start out with people in your team, you start out with no people in your team and then you have to grow it and the same applies to building a product. You don't start off with millions of customers, you start off with no customers and investment on every single front. I think that's what's fun about starting a startup, and also in those early stages, you put in that foundation and learn that determination of exactly what you want.
Freddy, here's a line that Melanie said that struck me. She said, "Do I go and be that crazy CEO and we do some mad celebration and make the company feel like a family again, or do we go and do something that doesn't feel right to me? I guess so. That might work for her, but no, I think that's an important thing. I think it does work for her. We just spoke to Melanie. She has this infectious energy and everybody's got their different style. She's got this infectious energy. Yeah, and I think what really works for her is that it seems very genuine.
I think if you're trying to make this up or you're trying to create some persona and it's not you, you're going to have problems down the road.
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I think what I really gleaned from our conversation with her was how that really is how she is, and I think it becomes a natural edict and approach to the company. By now, we know you have to evolve as a leader as you start to recognize fewer and fewer of the faces in your office.
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How do you actually get all those new faces there in the first place? According to our next guest, it takes a lot more than a great snack selection and a rock climbing wall. We've heard from Amy Pressman on the podcast before but now the co-founder of Medallia is back to reveal all the ways that she attracts Silicon Valley's best, starting with how she does onboarding. You talk about getting creative to attract talent. I think there is a sense here in the valley and elsewhere that means nice snacks and bouncy balls.
It's really funny. We do a lot of employee feedback and one of the big, hot button issues is the snack quality. Whenever you pull a snack, somebody is going to get pissed when you add a new one, someone's going to be having It's just there's no-. Yeah, so no, I don't think this is the I don't think a culture of a company is defined by number of foosball tables and snacks.
I think the culture of a company are the values that you live and the mission and vision of the company, and the rest of it is nice add-ons and nice to have, but I'm from a generation where there was no free food. All this to me is great. Were there other creative things that you did in those early days to attract talent or get your message out or express why it was worth coming to work for you? We started doing an onboarding and started getting a reputation for a culture that was attractive to people. A key part of that is the organization actually has to listen to the feedback including the negative feedback, and that's how you become a real learning organization.
What I was finding in our organization is we had to have that same message internally, that we need to be all about active learning and taking in all feedback, positive and negative, and iterating and getting better. I personally read a book called "Mindset" by Carol Dweck. I don't know if you guys are familiar with it.