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The initial stage of the infidelity process is the suspicious beginning; the stage in which it has not been proven, but warning signs are beginning to surface. While suspicion is not hard evidence in infidelity and cannot prove anything, it does affect a person's affective emotions and cognitive states. Jealousy, the feeling of incompetence, and anger can all be felt in both the affective and cognitive states of emotions; infidelity has a different impact in each of those connected states.
Affective emotions and response are a primary factor in the initial stages of infidelity on both sides. Affective behaviors are how we deal with emotions that we do not anticipate. An affective response immediately indicates to an individual whether something is pleasant or unpleasant and whether they decide to approach or avoid a situation. To begin, affective emotions and the effect infidelity has on affective jealousy. Both men and women alike feel some kind of jealousy when they suspect their significant other is being unfaithful. If some individual suspects that he or she is being cheated on they begin to question their partner's actions and may possibly act in more frustrated ways towards them than they normally would.
The affective use of jealousy in a seemingly unfaithful relationship is caused by the accusing partner anticipating the infidelity from the other. Another affective emotion in this beginning stage is incompetence. Feeling incompetent can spring from multiple things in a relationship, but during the initial stages of infidelity, a person can experience this on an increased level.
When someone is having incompetent feelings due to someone else's actions they begin to resent them, creating a build-up and eventually an affective emotion outburst over something small. The faithful partner is not normally aware that their suspicion is the reason they feel incompetent in the relationship and do not expect to be so irritated by the change of simple things; making it an affective response in this stage of infidelity. An additional affective response or emotion seen in initial infidelity is anger. Anger is an emotion that is felt in all stages of infidelity, but in different ways and at different calibers.
In the initial stages of infidelity anger is an underlying emotion that is usually exposed after the buildup of other emotions such as jealousy and Resentment. Anger is noticed to be a key emotion within a situation like infidelity, it takes on many roles and forms throughout the process but in the initial stage of cheating, anger can be an affective emotion because of how unpredictable and rapid it can happen without thinking of one's actions and feelings before doing so. Cognitive emotions and states tend to be felt in the initial stages of infidelity whenever the faithful partner is alone or left alone by the suspected unfaithful one.
Cognitive emotions and responses are that of those in which an individual anticipates them. To begin with cognitive responses in infidelity, individuals who have been cheated on experience jealousy cognitively for many reasons.
They may feel that their partner has lost interest in them and feel that they cannot compare to the persons with whom they are being cheated on with. Therefore, they anticipate the loss of their partner's emotional interest in them and become jealous for more clear reasons.
The anticipation of jealous feelings towards an individual's significant other causes a cognitive response, even without the burden of proof. Some more cognitive responses in the young stages of infidelity are incompetence and resentfulness. In the initial stages of infidelity, the feeling of incompetence can lead to cognitive resentment. The partner being cheated on will begin to feel that anything and everything they do is not enough, they may feel incompetent in the ways of love, affection, or sex. Whenever an individual suspects that they are being cheated on they try to change their behavior in hopes of keeping or getting their partner's attention back onto themselves instead of on the person whom they are having another relationship with.
People cheat for many reasons and each of those can cause a faithful person to believe they are not competent enough to be in a romantic relationship. This feeling leads to the resentment of the unfaithful partner's actions and becomes an ongoing emotion throughout the stages of infidelity instead of simply being a quick and immediate response to a partner's actions.
Lastly, anger in infidelity is quite inevitable. In the initial stage of infidelity, anger is not as apparent as it is seen in stage two, because there is not hard facts or evidence supporting one's suspicions. As previously talked about, the accuser most likely feels jealous and incompetent in the first stage of cheating. These emotions can contract into anger and provide a cognitive state of anger because the accusing person anticipates his or her anger.